Lily
by Pantz
Summary: They all think you love her, and it's true, you do.


**_Disclaimer: Everything from HP books belongs to JK Rowling_**

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**_Lily_**

You're watching her again. You don't even realize you do it any more, but your eyes always subconsciously wander from Binns' droning voice in the front of the classroom to her desk where you watch her hair fall in waves over her desk. You've memorized the way she takes notes, how she bites on her quill and lips when she's confused and the quick pace she writes. You can see her dainty cursive letters in your mind and the way her emerald eyes brighten when she comes to a certain understanding of the daily activities. She amazes you, there's no other way to describe it.

You feel Sirius nudge you in your side and give him a quick scowl before turning your head back to Binns. You can see him inside your mind throwing you a pitiful stare and the slight shake of his head, but as usual you ignore it pretending your friends don't know of your slight infatuation with the red headed beauty. Your eyes rest on her again and she looks up at you. Her thin pink lips form a slight scowl on her pretty little face and you feel like dying on the spot. You have no idea why she harbors such animosity for you. You have no idea what you did to make her despise you so much and instead of that knowledge you're left with your heart breaking every time she makes even the simplest actions of rejection. It makes you feel as if your world is ending.

Quickly you turn back to your notes trying your best to avoid Sirius' and Remus' stares. You know what's going to come when this class is over. Once again they're going to interrogate you on your feelings for her and once again you're going to tell them you feel nothing hoping to God that one day your statement will hold some truth. But for an instant you look back at her packing up her school things laughing at some joke her friend told her and you know it will never happen.

You're sixteen, you think, you still have one more year left of Hogwarts and yet more left of young life. You shouldn't be so hung up on the one girl who won't even look at you. You should be out there with Sirius, Peter, and Remus exploring your options, dating. Pining for her has never done you much good and the more you reflect on the matter the more you know that you would be much happier right now if she were still that girl with the gangly figure and frizzy hair, if she weren't the beauty she was now.

You sigh sadly and pack up your bags. You look at her as she passes by your desk with a friend and wave at them. Her friend, Sarah, you think, smiles nicely at you but your heart sinks as she, your Goddess with red hair, ignores your presence.

You once thought you would be over her by now. Most people wouldn't be hung up on some girl who won't even give them the time of day and here you are completely obsessed, completely in love. You shake your head at that. You're sixteen, you think, a child can't love someone like that. You're too young and proclamations of love at your age usually mean next to nothing because you have no true concept of what love is. You think you can't yet grasp what it means to be totally and completely in love with somebody or the responsibility that goes with it, but you've never been so wrong.

You love her. You love her brilliant green eyes and red hair. You love that small smile always playing on her lips or her kindness to everybody. You love her sense of humor and you even love the way her eyes flare up when she's angry. You love it when she mad at you, yelling at you. You love her when she's perfect and calm and controlled, but you love her even more when that perfection is lost. You love her most when she isn't Hogwarts Head Girl-to-be and when she isn't going out of her way to please others and not when she made some achievement, but when she's eating and some pumpkin juice dribbles onto her chin.

Your friends are worried about you. They see the pain this causes you and even though you deny it every time they know love her, that you'll always love her. You look at her from your spot in the great hall and watch her laughing with her friends pumpkin juice droplets on her chin. It's true, you think, you will always love her. And one day, maybe just maybe, she'll love you, too.

End

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